Digital Frontiers

This is it. I am not long for this world; welcome to my last supper. Please grab a seat and dine. I have a few regrets and a few secrets to tell, but I want for nothing more than your audience. What can one do at a last supper besides pray, eat, laugh and cry? [More]

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Fortunately for you, on the internet nobody knows you are a dog. Unfortunately for everyone else, the people labeled as experts (read: any fool with a blog) are also not revealed as dogs. Somehow, when people read a well-written blog or grammatically correct passage, they seem to believe its content. It is much akin to the “halo effect” wherein attractive people are trusted more so than others.

Our homework in this class is to learn from guest speakers (considered “experts” in their fields) and write about what we think they said. However, because we have a nice blog site and the legitimacy of the University of Florida supporting our efforts, any unlucky soul who reads my cynical words will also think me an expert.

Hopefully internet users are becoming equally as deft at finding useful information as they are at ignoring faux-info written by college boys like me. Anybody reading this site should know I am neither an expert nor a particularly committed learner; I just like to write and hear what other people have to say about it. I implore you to not believe me just because I have platform from which to speak.

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Ladies and Gentlemen we live now in an unfortunate time; world’s end is upon us. A civilization that could not even prevent its own untimely demise has correctly predicted the end of the world. Because some Mayan calendars that archaeologists found end in 2012, we all know that these omniscient peoples have labeled this year the “End of the World.” Much the same as the average American calendar ending in December every year correctly predicts the demise of the universe. In 2012, just as the Mayans’ prophetic calendar foretold, the world will end, but not the way most realize. In 2012 the US National Debt will be larger than US GDP and set off a domino effect of factors that will lead to the end of the financial world. Luckily for all of you, I have a solution. You’re welcome, but hold your applause until the end.

The biggest deadweight holding our society back, not to mention running up debt to no end, are retired peoples. Do they contribute anything to the hard-working, blue collared US of A besides nothing at all? No! Yes, there is only one solution:  Medicare needs to change from a system of health benefits for the elderly into a human culling organization. On their sixty-fifth birthdays, instead of earning retirement payments, all retired peoples would be, should be, euthanized.

Medicare spending added up to $480 Billion in 2008 and is only getting larger as American people live longer and the United States population ages. Killing off, instead of spending half-a-trillion dollars on, these people would surely change the world. It would be low-cost, need no marketing, and be entirely without controversy. This plan needs no Facebook Fan Page, no Twitter, no Viral Marketing, nor Subservient Chickens. It needs only a shotgun and a back alley, and hopefully a few illegal immigrants to do the shooting. Perhaps we could even use the corpses to feed Africans and homeless Americans. We cannot even agree on health care anyway, why should the old or the infirm receive it? This is, without question, a foolproof way to save the world and finally stick it to those party-pooping, parade-raining Mayans. I’m ready to make $450 billion; who’s with me?

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As internet users, in the best of times we seem quite uneducated; in the worst of times we seem downright ignorant. Anyone with a voice (read: everyone with internet access) has an opinion to scream, often as loudly as she can, at the rest of the world. It is an unfortunate state of affairs when the only thing worth commenting about on a Youtube Video seems to be how unintelligent all the other commenters are.  The easier it is for users to generate content, the more inhumane it seems to be… [More]

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In this golden-calf worshiping society we inhabit, the public can never seem to absorb enough celebrity gossip, real or fake. Entire magazines and TV channels are devoted to the big events, and the unfortunate everyday minutia, of celebrity life. As a people, we gluttonously devour as much celeb news as possible–picking apart their every word and action. I cannot fathom who is more insecure at this point, the celebrities living under the microscope or the faux-scientist people peering down that same microscope. [More]

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The truth about the wonderous internet is a sad tale, indeed. The vast majority of internet users are immoral, barbaric, unconverted bystanders who never reach the promised land. [More]

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Google’s business model is currently lauded as the best thing since Enron, Bernie Madoff and Boston Chicken; while I’m not implying that Google’s practices are shady or inadequate, I do not think the Google Bandwagon is best for everyone.

Right now, Jeff Goetz and I are working with The Burrito Brothers Taco Company. It has subsisted as a local eatery in a college town on simple practices alone for twenty-five years. The food is homemade and the owners are friendly; they rely on word 0f mouth, instead of coupons or promotions, to advertise their delicious food.

Google is doing a lot of things really well right now–innovating and making money like no other company before. However, some of their practices would lead to years of potential lost business in a smaller company like the Bros. I cannot suggest that the Burrito Brothers put their secret Guacamole recipe online and open it for criticism. I do not want them to let people vote daily on the soup of the day or what the burritos should cost.

However, I would suggest that the restaurant know its identity as a local food place and maybe borrow some Starbucks Coffee ideas as being a Third Place to chill and enjoy the atmosphere. I also think it would be sweet if the menu was a digital and posted on a video screen on the wall. It could constantly change its prices and rankings based on the hour, the number of people in the restaurant, and the popularity of the food.

Some ideas would work and others would fail. Taking Google’s advice would be to try many new things and see what sticks, while staying true to one’s identity. This seems okay but there seems to be an inordinately large potential for loss. I do not mind Google’s serpentine arms reaching out and touching a lot of things in this world, but I don’t want them touching me, or my Burritos.

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In approximately eighteen months, I will begin law school and follow in the enormous footsteps of such people as Barack Obama, Judge Judy, Abraham Lincoln, and Tucker Max. Three years of my youth will be spent toiling away in libraries, fiercely competing with intellectuals to fit INFINITY into our brains and set  bell curves. However, our memorizing and wading through all of law-textual history may soon be for naught; the future of law is on the internet, and anyone may read and understand it. [More]

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After the surprising success of their day project for class, Jeff and Nate set off again on Thursday to collect more money for the Bush-Clinton Haiti fund.  A passerby took the video above of the team working to raise awareness.  To learn more:  about the project here or the source of the video.

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When I left the classroom, sticky-notes in hand, I looked back over my shoulder with Jeff trailing me–he had a huge smile on his face and I knew something big was about to happen. [More]

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